My Hero's Name is Jensen

    I am writing this from my heart. It's been weighing on me ever since yesterday at ComicCon. Some people won't agree and that's okay. These are my thoughts and feelings and observations and I would never expect anyone to always agree with me. That's what makes the world, and our Supernatural fandom so special.I was told recently by my dear friend Amy to never apologize for having an opinion or loving our show. So I'm not. It's just a warning that it may not be the most popular opinion.

     It concerns Jensen. Big surprise right? Let me first say the tribute to Jared and Always Keep Fighting was very nice and he was so touched. It meant a lot and I applaud the fans who put it together. It took a ton of work and your dedication is amazing. So is the love behind the gesture.I have issue that all the tributes to the Always Keep Fighting Campaign are only to Jared. As I recall the boys are a partnership. Moose and Squirrel together. I know Jared had a rough time this summer and I don't discount that. I was one of the first people to respond to his pleas for love. I love Jared very much so no one needs to go there. But let's not forget who carried on in the summer cons, trying his hardest to make sure he gave disappointed fans a great experience. He did not only his own photos and autos and panels but filled in the gaps for his missing best friend. He seemed all but exhausted himself when he returned.

  Then there was this:


And I was more touched then I can ever express. See I was this fan. Not so little or precious but I was so overwhelmed at meeting him in 2013 at VegasCon I lost it. Crying and unable to speak. At all. The handlers and the people in line behind me were more than a little annoyed but this guy held on to me and whispered reassurances and refused to let me be moved along or made to wait. That sweet look in his eyes? Yep. I've seen it. Just like that. It's real.

    Jensen is way more quiet than Jared, Misha and Mark. He maintains his emotions really well. He's not as much of a cryer. Thank goodness with fans like me out there! He's uncomfortable being the center of attention and I suspect even if he doesn't say it, he hates to feel he disappointed anyone either. He's truly the big brother of the cast. He's the one who is always there for the others, he praises them and thanks them and showcases their talent. He epitomizes the words brother and family. He gets a great deal of praise for being pretty and God is he ever!! But here's the thing, his heart is every bit as big, as caring as the others: for us, for excellent causes, for making the  world a better place. I think my fear is that he is the Dean character here too. Doing what he does because he loves everyone but rarely getting the recognition. He's beautiful inside and out. I know you know this. And I am not diminishing what Jared has done and shared in any way. It takes courage to speak out and to say I struggle with this. I don't know if Jensen has , he's never said except that season 9 was really hard and he was "in a dark place". He was like Dean I think and just pushed through it. He is the poster child for humility. This is a man who despite fans telling him otherwise still can't believe he has musical ability . He is totally unaware of his exceptional good looks or amazing talent. He is a fabulous example of a husband and father.He is the unsung hero, the one who gives the best he has to offer all the time and never thinks of himself first. This is rare and precious and should be celebrated.

   So where am I going? This is a partnership. Everyone says it's all about the brothers. Well, that's plural. I hope in the future that if tributes to Always Keep Fighting are done at cons it's to both of them. Jensen is deserving of just as many thanks for saving my life tributes as his adorable costar and buddy. He and Dean saved me.I don't have that dramatic a story and I wont bore you with it.All  I know is this show, this man and this family have put more happiness in my life than I can ever tell you.

    Again, Jared deserves the tribute, He deserves a high five for admitting he needed a break this summer.And for getting himself back to where he is, rested, happy and ready for season 11. All I'm saying is, there should be just as many rounds of applause for 'the smart little squirrel" that took care of him and all of us. Yes, I love him. I all but worship the guy but he's my hero for all the right reasons. Won't you join me in sending him a little thank you?

Respecting Jensen

   It's been a hard summer and I haven't written anything in a good while. I am sort of replying to something I saw on repeatedly on my Twitter TL yesterday. It involved  the "nomination" of Jensen and Misha as best tv chemistry for the TCAs. Okay I get it. Fans seem obsessed with the guys and the show winning awards. Any awards. Hardly a day goes by I am not bombarded with a dozen people asking me to vote for the boys for something.I absolutely feel they are worthy of every award out there. The PCAs and TCAs though are not truly awards. They are the result of fans spending hours clicking VOTE on their computer and phone screens. They are not judged critically like the Emmys or the Oscars(and for the record...you can't win an Oscar for tv y'all. It's for movies.Sorry had to.) and therefore they are manipulated by fans. That's why shows like Beauty and the Beast which is not on any level as good as Supernatural win them. Which brings me to the where I started. Jensen and Misha have been nominated for Destiel. It's being called chemistry but it's being hashtagged as Destiel. I realize some fans ship Dean and Cas. I try to be open minded and say if they ship that then go ahead. And it's really fine if you watch it and talk about with your friends and read and write fan fiction about it. If that's where it ends. If it's fun for you in your own belief, your own way of watching the show, our take on the relationships. The problem comes in in the way fans try to make it everyone's belief. First off, Destiel is not canon.And no amount of shippers trying to make it canon will change that.No amount of writer and show runner bashing will make it so.There are many problems with Destiel as canon that I doubt shippers really think about in their zeal to convince us they are right. Now before I delve into that let me say I am NOT homophobic. I have many very close gay friends. I don't judge. I supported the gay marriage bill and cried over the recent decision. It isn't about me or anyone else being homophobic if we don't ship.So don't go there. I am not trying to engage in a debate over the moral issues.

   Okay, Destiel poses several problems to the the story line.It's been established several times that the boys cannot be entangled in personal relationships beyond themselves.No romantic relationship has lasted. It hinders the job and the lifestyle is too hard. Some will argue that Cas understands.He does but he understands as an angel. Yes he's been human but he as Cas has never been in a "domestic" relationship.Let's say Dean and Cas become romantically involved, how does that impact the brother relationship? When they are home, Dean and Cas say goodnight and go to Dean's room? They have secret encounters outside in Baby? On the road Sam becomes a third wheel? It reduces the brother relationship. Do they all three share a room or do they now need to get two? Or, does Cas become a stay at home angel baking cookies? I sound sarcastic but you have to consider what alterations to the essential relationship of the brothers. Then there's the one thing no one ever considers. The boys have ended all of their other relationships. So eventually Cas will either have to go or be killed never to return. Is that what shippers want? No more Cas? As a friend and ally to both he is essential to the story. As a paramour of one, he becomes an accessory you can delete from the equation. Dean will always choose his brother. He sent Cas away when Gadreel told him to. He would do it again.

   That aside, Jensen is uncomfortable with Destiel. Time and again he has avoided answering questions about it. And he isn't homophobic either. He has supported his aunt and he partner openly.But he has played Dean straight for a decade and to change that alters who Dean is and changes the show. I and many other fans are personally offended by the recent Astroglide campaign and the "give him a tube of lube" at ComicCon to "celebrate" the Destiel nomination. It's too graphic and too crude and frankly it's disrespectful to an actor who has given more to fans than most actors will ever do. Why if you care about Jensen or love Dean as the character we know would you seek to make him feel awkward or uncomfortable in public? Jensen sees Cas as Dean's closest friend outside of Sam. He's also very respectful of the angel status, even tho he is wary of angels and questions God's role in his life, Dean wants to believe in these things and so Cas represents a higher place and being to Dean. He loves Cas but he isn't attracted to him. Jensen says, "...they are kindred spirits, they have a strong friendship". And that's where it ends. To change that changes the very face of the show as we know it.

   I may offend others by pointing this out, may lose folowers and that doesn't matter. What matters to me is that Supernatural, Dean Winchester and Jensen Ackles have made a difference in my life. More than words can express. I have so much love and respect for Jensen I cannot bear the thought of anyone doing anything to embarrass him. I hope the Comic Con goers will be respectful. He has his views and he's not stopping how you interpet the show.And he would surely be hurt by shippers being harassing or mean to fans who don't ship. This is a family. Jensen and Jared are the center. We need to be about giving them as much respect and love as they give us.That is so simple and so easy for me. Just something to think about. I'm done with my say now.