Comic-Con has come and gone and with it a delightful interview or two or three or four... with some very delightful and attractive, okay drop dead gorgeous men! We saw the gag reel snippets and laughed at Jared's Castiel antics.
We`also saw a very scary and disturbing Demon Dean and Sam clip of the episode Jensen directed. I watched it. I watched it again. And the damn thing has haunted me ever since. I watched in horror as Demon Dean swung an axe at his little brother.An axe! And I said out loud to the screen, "Baby! What the hell are you doing?" Oh my. That's what I kept saying out loud to myself. I am terrified. I saw the excitement of Jensen and the cast and I am so very happy he is up for the challenge and I know he is going to be fanfriggintastic. How could he NOT? It's Jensen! "Come on!" He's excited. My nearest and dearest Supernatural sisters are excited. And I'm.....terrified. Totally. I am proud of ten years. I am completely supportive of the writers and the storyline. It's my show. I know it's going to be alright. But I cried again last night y'all. I miss that boy. I want my man back.( As the song says, "I can't help loving that man of mine." ) 71 days have passed since he died in Sam's arms. 69 until we see him for the first time as Demon Dean. I'll be there. I'll love him for who and what he is. It's DEAN however twisted he's become. But I'm pinning a lot of hope in little brother. Sam, it's your biggest test babe!!
This morning I watched Swan Song on TNT. And it as usual destroyed me. Such love. Such looks exchanged with no words spoken that conveyed the words. We knew Dean loved Sam, that Sam loved Dean. I knew that love when my sweet Dean said to his brother, "I'm proud of us". And I am trusting we will see that amazing love again. We simply have to. It's the Winchesters. It's what they do. Get through the hard stuff and save the lost one. I am holding on baby. Waiting for the day when we get you back, when everything is restored to it's proper balance and you are not Demon Dean....you'll be Dean. I'll hold on because I'm proud of you.
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