It's Complicated...Exploring the Bromance

I've seen a pretty big discussion about shipping on Twitter this morning.And shipping as a topic of conversation in the Supernatural fandom is...complicated at best.Do I ship is the next question I am sure.First off shipping isn't just about Wincest or Destiel. Dean and Lisa were a ship. Sam and Ruby were a ship. Sam and Amelia were a ship.Sam and Jessica get shipped. I kinda think there was a Jody/Bobby ship trying to happen before he died. Dean and Jo were a ship of sorts. You see where I'm going. And here's where it gets...complicated. The term 'ship" is just a short version of the word relationship.It's mainly used to describe sexual relationships though and never more than in our beloved Winchester world. I'm not a shipper in the classic sense of the word as it's used in the fandom. I don't think Sam and Dean have now or in the past an incestuous relationship.I can never get on board with Destiel as a canon thing. Because as he says himself on a number of occasions Dean loves the "company of frisky women". He likes girls sexually y'all. We know for a fact Jensen plays him straight. He's made that clear. There's this other thing that's...complicated. It's the bromance thing.Which btw is described on Urban Dictionary as the complicated love and affection of two straight males. In this case two brothers who have this great thing between them. Remember recently in Ask Jeeves when Sam's told most families don't like each other and he quickly says "Mine does"? These boys were made to be close. John made sure of it. We know for a fact Dean's one reason for getting up everyday was to make sure Sam was safe. "Watch out for Sam Dean" "Dad you know I do". he did this so they would work like one person in a hunt situation but also because he was afraid of losing one or both of them. Now I'm not a big Dad fan. I think John did a lot of things wrong. Dean shouldn't have been the one to raise Sammy etc... but he did set up the bromance from the time they were kids. Being that all they have is each other, who else are they going to be affectionate with? And why can't guys be affectionate without it being sexual? Girls hug all the time and they aren't accused of being gay. What is about guys that makes a difference? I guess, not being a guy, I may not be able to fully understand. Is it the no chick flick moments thing? Because my baby is the one who says that and yet he has them all the time. See I think Dean said that because he wasn't sure he was  worthy of Sam's love and affection. Of anyone's. Which is sad. And so much a part of him and what many people relate to him for.I absolutely love the affection moments. I am always warm and fuzzy after the hugs.I love it when Dean cups Sam's face or runs his hand through Sam's hair.I love moments like this and yet I never think of them as sexual. Complicated? Yes. Everything about this thing is complicated. I guess the really big issue is not if I ship Wincest or Destiel but how do I feel about fellow fans who do? You know what? If that's how they see it go for it I mean seriously, I admit to shipping me and Dean!  The wonderful part about this fandom is that you can love it anyway you want it ( forgive the Journey reference!) I pretty much accept people for who they are without judgement.What I don't appreciate is when at cons fans try to argue or accuse Jensen into accepting Destiel. He's allowed to see it his way too. That brother love deal? Sam and Dean just aren't afraid anymore to let the most important person in their lives know how they feel. I kinda suspect they never were. I have my own head canon that over the last thirty years there have been a lot of hugs, a lot of tears, and a multitude of touching that wasn't sexual. It was giving and taking the affection we all need.because without it you aren't a person. That Sam and Dean thing..the looks, the touching. It's what grounds them, keeps their humanity in this ...complicated world they live in.If at the end of the day my brother still loves me, can still look at me, I'm not a monster yet.So peeps, y'all have your head canons. ENJOY this for you. It's too...complicated to argue about. But it's a gift. This show, this relationship. However you see it, it's been given to you by writers and actors who believe in the same thing you do. This complicated love and affection. This brother thing we all wish we had with someone else. This epic love story. Family is complicated. Fandom is complicated. But it's worth it.

"You're a Winchester"

"You're a Winchester". Probably one of the BEST endings ever in Supernatural. Because it sums up all of Dean's reason for living. The problem as I see it right now is he's finally reached the point of no return as far as he can see. I've never known him to be this despondent for himself. As I said on Twitter when he says he's not good or fine, it's pretty damn bad. My baby has lost the ability to see there's hope out there and it makes me feel incredibly sad. Yeah, I cried myself to sleep again last night. Dean Winchester has made a life out of surviving, just because that's what he does. He keeps going but that was when he had his family, more specifically Sam to take care of. Now that it's him that needs the care taken, he doesn't know what to do. Bless his little Winchester heart, he has no history for someone looking out for him. He's always been the care taker. Let's take a minute to say how awesome Sam is right now. He's grown up. He's not selfish or trying to get out of the life. And Henry would be proud of his grandson the Man of Letters. I should say grandsons but Dean doesn't really think of himself that way;,He thinks Sam is a Man of Letters and he's a grunt hunter which isn't true. Although he did refer to himself once as a man of letters to Magnus."...and men of letters ourselves".) The dedication Sam has displayed this season to helping Dean, curing him, saving him and plain old loving him and letting him know he does has been amazing. The hugs we're all dying for? In my head canon, they are there. Still, it'd be nice to see one right ladies? That ending really gave me hope, in spite of that vacant, lost, desperate look on my man's face in the fade to black. Sam really believes he can save Dean as surely as Dean has always believed he can save Sam. And that is what makes them Winchesters. It's not the brave acts or the hunter skills or the Bunker. It's a legacy of men who loved their family so much they were willing to die for them. I confess I used to think and say, Sam doesn't love Dean as much as Dean loves him. I realize now of course the roles they have had have influenced the way they have loved. Dean has brotherly and parental love for Sam. Sam has brotherly love for Dean. It isn't his fault Dean had to also be a parent figure.But he gets it now. He realizes that this is the time for him to step it up like never before. If he loses Dean now, he may never get him back. I have always loved Sam. I'm a Dean girl of course, but "There ain't no me if there ain't no you" and  all that. I guess what I really want to say to Sam is save him. Love him back to being Dean again, prove to him he IS a powerful force, that he can live with it if he has to. Maybe all I want to say to Sam is "You're a Winchester" because I truly believe that's enough.

Thinking About The MOC Thing....

I've been pretty affected by the storyline this season. Yes we cured Dean and that was wonderful. But he's still under the affect of the Mark of Cain. There are so many worrisome things to ponder here. First, I thought I understood it was the mark that kept him alive. If it goes do we have to then face another Dean death because after last year I don't know if I can stand it....I really don't. Poor baby he's so upset, afraid really and yet still so brave, just like he always is. The mark does some bad shit to him. All that rage. The second thing I'm wondering about is where the hell did Cain go? And if he transferred the mark to Dean, does he still have it as well? If not, how is he still alive? He still had it on his arm as best as I could tell but did the power go on to Dean? Also, third question, "the river ends at the source" Is that CAIN? Or as Cain implied Lucifer? Or as the Bible says God aka as Chuck in Winchester world? This has actually kept m awake. Probably because I live more in Winchester world than I should..sigh....All this being said, my sweet potato has a hard row to hoe ahead it looks like. I am worrried. Again. But that's Supernatural right? Sam I am trusting you little brother. You have to be the hero here. Because mine can't right now.

Who Needs Awards? It's Season 11!

It's official....my boys are back in the fall!! Season 11 is confirmed. What is surprising to me is that in spite of the squee some people are actually saying they want the show to be over so the boys, particularly Jensen can make movies. Oddly Jensen was the first of the guys to tweet saying "let's keep it going" so I am taking that to mean he's happy. Too much  emphasis is placed on what awards shows win this time of year. I really am not a voter for the awards. I have a real distaste for the PCAs which are based on how many votes are given by fans. The real award for a tv show is longevity and ratings. Which Supernatural has and they are strong ratings. What the show has that others don't is a fandom that's a family for the most part. Movies are great but I'd rather see my sweet potato and his moose brother every week than have to wait a year in between movies or more in some cases. It's their legacy. This little show thath as influenced and changed so many lives. Last year at VegasCon Jared said and Jensen too that they aren't ready to give it up. And I for one am glad. Because life without the anticipation of the boys each week to me would be a sadder, less wonderful place to be. I met my closet friends thru this show, I share a "more profound bond" with my daughter because of it and frankly, I find in spite of the tears I shed over it , a great deal more to smile about, to be happy about/. Supernatural doesn't need a shelf of awards. It's living longer than most shows could ever hope and it just keeps getting better! So Hooray for Season 11!!!!