Til Next Time

   Dean looked at his watch. 8:00. He smiled just a little to himself like he always did when he got to see her. He would never really understand why he kept going back. Going back wasn't really his style. But there was just something about her. He picked up his jacket.
   "Where are you going?" Sam looked up. Dean seemed happy and that seemed weird. Good but definitely not usual.
  "Out." That's all his brother would say."Don't wait up." Dean pocketed the keys to the Impala, leaving Sam wondering where the hell he was going. Inside the car he pulled out his phone and scrolled down. Debbie. He smiled again. I'm on my way he texted.
   She saw him when he came in the bar. He had that soft gaze in those green eyes and that slow sweet smile creeping over his perfect lips and just like every time he came back. It might be a year in between visits, with a call late at night or a random text. But still every time he just made her melt inside. He sat on the stool at the end of the bar just like he had that night ten years ago. He's been so sad and alone that night. Not like tonight. Tonight his green eyes were smiling, crinkles showing just a little age. She paused tray in hand as she rounded the corner of the bar. He reached out and wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her close
  She smiled up at him. He said "Hello sweetheart." His lips were close to hers and she wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss her too. She could tell.
   "Easy there cowboy," she laughed. "I get off in half an hour. You need a beer?" Dean turned her loose.
   "I want more than that. But yeah I'll take a beer." The tone of his voice was rough and low. It made her shiver slightly. He smiled a more naughty smile.
    "You got both." She whispered her response and he let her go. She returned with an El Sol and sat it in front of him. He raised the bottle to those perfect lips and watched her interact with her customers. She felt pretty and special and cherished because Dean Winchester was all eyes for her.
    Half an hour later he was leaning on the Impala when she exited the bar. She hurried to him and felt his arms go around her,enveloping her with himself as he pulled her tight against his chest. His lips sought hers and she kissed him back with passion. "God I missed you," he whispered his mouth close to her ear as he placed a kiss on her neck. "Let's go to your place" he said. He kissed her again and she thought she might die from happiness.
    She sighed and he laughed. "What?" He rolled over to face her and pushed himself up on one elbow
   "Nothing. You sounded cute." He reached out and pulled her close. Pressing her head into his chest he brushed her hair back.She snuggled closer feeling safe and warm and loved. It was always this way when he was here. Had been since that first night. She knew he would go soon. He never stayed but he always came back. She knew it was silly to love him so much. Dean wasn't the man who was going to marry you or have a family but he had ruined her for other men.
   "Dean..." She began. He looked down at her. What the hell why not be honest. " I love you." She waited for him to stiffen up. For him to go. He didn't. He pulled her even closer and kissed the top of her head.
   " I know." He kissed her forehead. "Love you too". Her eyes misted over and a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. He thumbed it away and when she looked up at him his eyes were glassy too.
   "Do you have to go?" She was sure he would. He always did.
      He shook his head, pulling the covers over them, settling his head against hers."No. I can stay." She allowed sleep to claim her as she dozed off in his arms. He was so beautiful as she looked up at him once more, his lashes much too long to belong to a man. He looked content,saited and peaceful. They slept.
      The next morning he was gone. His pillow still smelled like him and she hugged it to her. Rolling over she saw the note he'd left on the nightstand. She picked it up and read it.
     "Bye beautiful. Til next time. Love, Dean. " She'd be waiting. She'd wait forever. Because it was Dean. Because she knew he'd come back. She pressed the note to her heart and hugged his pillow giving in to the tears.

The Creation Disclaimer

So it's on all our minds that some people have over shared to the guys in photo ops,autographs and even panel time. I do not discount these stories but I feel some restraint should be used. The boys aren't there to be therapists and yes Jared seems to get the brunt of it. He's much more openly emotional than Jensen.
  On the other hand, Creation used the word burdening the stars and this is a little harsh. They don't feel that way. It's just too much is too much. I feel that I pay a lot of hard earned cash for my moments with the stars. I feel it's ok and also should be allowed for a paying customer to say thanks and love in the few moments he or she paid for. You can be positive. You can do it succinctly and in the time you are allowed. I hope Creation does not intend to go to a step up smile you're gone routine because a few overstepped the boundaries. It's what makes a con special and let's face it we all wait for our 45 seconds of heaven! And pay dearly for it. The reason we all love Creation cons is that we DO have this chance to actually be near the boys.
  Yes Jared left himself open and he does care about these things. Jensen does too. To post simply to a FB page however just means you still have a one in five million chance they will ever see it. So what can we do? Maybe fans could start a posting place to help and encourage one another? Maybe something like watch parties but SPN fan support groups? My mind is wondering and considering. I invite a conversation on this because I am happy to be a builder for something like this . We all wish for some personal time with Jensen and Jared. But in reality we MOST of us get our paid for time. So some family support at another place would be nice.
 Lately  I have been struggling with the whole idea of be grateful and not taking things for granted. My last little stretch of existence hasn't been easy. I'm not suicidal or any of the big bad dark things but circumstances have made me appreciate the #AKF because life's struggles are not limited to self harm and mental illness and I know from very close family members that is hard. But sometimes LIFE is just hard. And I personally think the guys would hug me and encourage me just as much for those struggles.
 Creation is right to keep personal stories out of the panels and to ask fans to keep things quick and not traumatic in ops. As much as they want to and our boys DO want to be there for everyone they can't. I know for me a personal conversation with Jensen would make my whole life but in reality if I get three sentences it's enough. Please Creation don't take away our chance to say thanks and love.